David: Friendships

****This Devotional Blog ties in with my Podcast, "David: Friendships" at http://tompounder.podomatic.com/ or go to iTunes and type in Tom Pounder under the Podcast menu.****

Opening Questions:
Good Friend or Bad Friend. Read the statement. Write down whether you think this person is a good friend or a bad friend:

1. A person who always talks about themselves and never lets you talk about what is going on with you
2. A person who sends you a card when you’ve had a bad day
3. A person who defends you in front of others
4. A person who bashes you behind your back
5. A person who checks in with you to make sure you had a good day
6. A person who only talks to you when they need something from you
7. A person who hangs with you until someone “cooler” comes around

1. Bad 2. Good 3. Good 4. Bad 5. Good 6. Bad 7. Bad

Can you identify with any of these people? Have you had friends like this before? Have you been any of these people before?

In continuing our series on David, we are going to look at friendship. We are going to look at a special friendship that David had with Saul’s son – Jonathan and see how the characteristics Jonathan demonstrated can help us have better friendship.

Scripture

Before we pick up today’s story, I need to quickly remind you of where we are at. Last week we talked about how Saul was jealous of David. His jealousy consumed him to the point that he eventually tried to kill David – not just once or twice but many, many times.

This leads us to our story.

Read 1 Samuel 20:1-4
1. What happened here?
2. What did Jonathan communicate about friendship here?

In the midst of a very trying time for David, Jonathan offered his help. It wasn’t going to be easy for him as he was going to have to do something against his father in order to help his friend. His friendship ran that deep.

Now, know this. I am not encouraging you in any way to go against your father’s wishes in order to help a friend. Honoring your parents comes first, but each situation is different. In this situation, David had done nothing wrong to Saul. Jonathan offered to help him, despite his father’s vendetta against him. It shows how much he cared for David.

Read 1 Samuel 20:18-34
1. What happened here?
2. What did Jonathan communicate about friendship here?

He stood up for his friend. I’m not telling you to go and get in arguments against your parents, but in this situation, Jonathan stood up for his friend, who needed someone to defend him. After all, what did David really do to Saul? He didn’t try to over throw him or work behind his back. Saul was clearly in the wrong here and Jonathan stood up for his friend.

Read 1 Samuel 20:35-42
1. What happened here?
2. What did Jonathan communicate about friendship here?

His word was valid. Jonathan, probably heartbroken after realizing that his father wanted to kill his best friend, fulfilled his promise. He didn’t have too. He could have run away and said, “so sorry David”, I just can’t help you now…I’m too heartbroken. No, his word meant something to him and he followed through on it.

Application

Overall, Jonathan showed David that:
1. He wanted to help his friend
2. His word was valid
3. He stood up for his friend

When Jonathan did these 3 things, do you think David had any doubt about the way Jonathan felt about him? No.

Two questions for you:
Do you treat your friends this way?
Do they treat you this way?

If you or your friends treat each other in a way that isn’t what Jonathan modeled, then you need to seriously consider who you are friends with and why. Friends that are only interested in themselves and what you can do for them, aren’t really friends at all. They are a cancer that will bring you down.

A friend of mine just told me, there are some things you can control and some things our of your control. You need to control those things that you can. Friendships are a thing you can control – you can choose who you are friends with. You are not locked in. You have got to understand that. Why do you think so many athletes who were brought up in bad neighborhoods get in trouble when they don’t separate who they now are from who they once were?

So, this week, I want to challenge you to apply at least 1 of these 3 characteristics. Of the 3 characteristics of true friendship that Jonathan showed, what is the 1 thing you can do this week to show your friends how much you value their friendship?

Secondly, I want you to evaluate the friendship you have based on what Jonathan showed David. Do you treat your friends the way Jonathan did? Do your friends treat you that way?

The friendships we have and make can be instrumental in our lives. It's best now to make friends based on the model shown here than to realize when it is too late if you have the right friends or not.

PRAY