Debunking Myths about Sex

Opening Questions

There certain words that once you say these words, you get an immediate reaction – people have a strong reaction to – either good or bad. For instance, when I say President Bush, what do you say? When I say Dallas Cowboys what comes to mind? Lastly, when I say "High School Musical", what do you say?

See, these are all words that you all had a strong opinion about.

What about the word sex? What do you think of?

This month we are going to talk about sex. More specifically, we are going to talk about drawing the lines – how far is too far, what if you have gone too far already – where do you go now, and about God’s plan for sex – what his design for it is.

Today, however, we are going to talk about myths about sex. I’m going to be the myth buster about some of the things you have heard or just assume about sex.

As I have said before, everyday you all make decisions that will dramatically impact your life. Whether you have sex or not is one of those very important decisions. So, today, I want to make sure that you all have the facts about sex and some of the things you have heard or assumed about sex.

Scripture

So, let’s get right into it.

Myth #1: Everyone is having Sex
• Now, there are plenty of people having sex – an alarming number of people actually.
• But it isn’t everyone – you aren’t alone if you haven’t.
• I didn’t and I know plenty of others who didn’t and won’t until they are married
• The key is to find others who aren’t and encourage each other to abstain
• When you have friends helping you, reaffirming your reasons and desire to abstain, then it makes abstaining easier
• And, it makes you feel like you aren’t alone. Trust me, you aren’t alone.


Myth #2: Sex is a natural part of a loving relationship
• Who said this? Seth and Summer from “the OC”? MTV? I remember a 90210 episode where Brenda was freaking out about Prom because she knew she was going to have to have sex with Dylan. What? Where does it say that in the prom handbook?
• Just because you have been dating for a month, 6 months or even longer, that means you have to have sex? WRONG!
• My relationship with Anne, before marriage, never involved sex. Yet, we still got married – imagine that. We had tons of fun together, realized that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and got married. Did sex ever come up – no, because Anne and I both knew that we wanted our wedding night to be special for each other. We respected each other enough to wait for that night and the rest of our lives.
• Even before Anne, I dated a variety of people. Never once was sex an issue.
• Why? Because sex doesn’t equal love. 1 Corinthians 13 is a whole chapter on love.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
o What are some characteristics of love here? Patient, kind, doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud, rude or self-seeking. Love protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. It never fails
o It says things like, Love is patient, love is kind. Does it say love is sex? No, It doesn’t.

Sex = intimacy. It doesn’t = love.

Now, just because Seth and Summer have sex regularly enough on “the OC” doesn’t mean that their relationship will last any longer than a relationship that doesn’t involve sex.

In fact, sex in a relationship probably complicates matters more and make relationships not last. Then, you have to worry about pregnancies, STDs, AIDS.

That leads perfectly into Myth #3

Myth #3: Sex makes life better

I’m sure every guy thinks this – I know I did. If I could have sex, just once – my life would be so much better.

• Do STDs/AIDs make life better?
• Do teenage pregnancies make life better?
• Does guilt and regret make life better?
• Does the emotional let down make life better when you break up with your guy or girl?
• Does trying to restore a reputation make life better? As you know, once you have been labeled as something, it is hard to change that label. Look at me, everyone things I go to bed early every night – 8 or 9 o’clock. When in reality, I go to bed between 10 & 11 every night.

The Truth is that sex makes life more difficult. You have to worry about STDs, pregnancies, guilt and restoring a lost reputation, if you don’t wait until marriage.

Myth #4: God doesn’t want you to enjoy life, so you can’t have sex

The truth is that God created sex. He created Eve to be Adam’s companion and to procreate. To procreated, you need to have sexual relations. So, God created sex and all that he has created is good (ref. Genesis 1). If God didn’t want you to have sex, he would have figure out a different way for us to procreate.

God wants you to have sex in the right context – in the context of marriage.

Now, we aren’t going to get much into this, as we will be talking about it next week, but, in the right context, Sex is great. That context is marriage. In the wrong context, sex should be refrained from – that is sex outside of marriage. Whether it is premarital sex or an affair, those sexual relations should be refrained from.

But the idea that God doesn’t want you to enjoy life so he is taking away sex is wrong. He created it and he wants you to enjoy it – as long as it is in the right context.

Application

As I close, a verse comes to mind.

1 Corinthians 10:23 – "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

You may think that sex is permissible – that it is ok because you see so many others doing it. The problem though, is that, in a premarital or extramarital situation, it isn’t beneficial or constructive:
• The fear of STDs, AIDS, pregnancies, wrecked relationships, emotional damage when you and the one you had sex with break up – you gave away something special.

The question is, where are you getting your information about sex from? Where are you learning about it? From movies like American Pie or TV show like the OC? Even though we know that these movies and TV shows are not real, the sad thing is that they are implying that in the “real world” these things happen all the time – premarital sex, sex with teachers, sex with your friends parents. The list can go on and on.

Unfortunately for us, we are constantly being exposed to these kinds of lies I just outlined as we watch tons of movies, see lots of shows and listen to a lot of music.

I want to caution you that just because you saw it in the movies or on TV, or just because you heard it on the radio, doesn’t mean that it is right.

You have to clothe yourself with the truth about sex. Not because I don’t want you to have fun or God is against you, but because when you start having sex now, you are changed forever.

The good news, though, is that God has a plan – he has a perfect design for sex. As I said before, God created it, and next week we are going to look in depth at what God’s design for sex is and how we can full experience all the greatness of sex.

But my challenge for you all this week is to go home and open up the Bible and see what God’s plan is. If you have a Bible, go and look up sex and sexuality in the Bible of the Bible (either in the dictionary or in the concordance). If you don’t have a Bible, go online, type in NIV online bible. Once you go to that, search sex and see what verses come up.

Go home, find out what God’s plan is and come back next week as we go into it further. In fact, bring a friend next week and the rest of January because we are talking about sex.

Pray