God's design for Sex

In case you haven’t heard, Apple – the maker of the iPod, released an iPhone this month. This phone looks awesome and has tons of cool gadgets (goto www.apple.com to look at it). Not only is it an iPod and a phone, but you can also check your email, browse the web and it has an awesome camera. I was so pumped, then I realized that it is only being offered with Cingular for a few years. I have Verizon.

Well, since I couldn’t use the iPhone for a while, I figured that I could use my phone as kind of an iPhone. Then I looked at my phone and realized I couldn’t do half the things with it that I could do with an iPhone. I couldn’t browse the web the same, easy way. I couldn’t listen to songs like I could if I had an iPhone. I can even check my email. Dang, I began to wonder what good is this thing?!?

Then I realized, I can’t use this phone as an iPhone because it wasn’t designed to do the functions that an iPhone can. The purpose of my phone is to make calls, text message people and take some silly pictures. The purpose of an iPhone is to enable you to combine all your multi-media capabilities into one gadget.

In the same way, sex was designed by God for a specific intent. He created it with a specific goal in mind.

So, right now, I want to examine what that purpose is for and how we can benefit from it.

Scripture

What is God’s plan for sex?

Genesis 1:28 – “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the seas and the births of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Mark 10:6-9 – “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

What do these verses say about God’s design for sex?

That sex is designed for procreation and it is for a man and woman in marriage. It says to be fruitful and multiply and that the two will become one; that the man will be united with his wife.
If you think it is unclear how God feels about sex being in the context of marriage only, I believe that it is even more telling how God feels about sex by looking what is not accepted.
• Galatians 5:19, 21 – “The acts of sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;…and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God”
• Matthew 5:27-28 – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with his in his heart.”

What is being said here?

That acts like sexual immorality, impurity, lust, adultery and orgies are not accepted behavior and you won’t inherit the kingdom of God if you are doing those things.

Why are these things no apart of God’s plan for sex?

Because they are not in the context of marriage – of a husband and wife being together.

God designed sex to be great and wonderful – but in the context of marriage. It isn’t because he doesn’t want you to have fun and experience this great and wonderful thing. It is because you will benefit most and suffer the least when you have sex based on God’s design.

Application

When we have sex as part of God’s design/plan, how do we benefit?
• You experience true intimacy – true oneness with your spouse
• You live a life without regret. You don’t have to feel sorry about what you did with other boyfriends or girlfriends.

When we have sex apart from God’s design/plan, how do we suffer?
• Loss of trust and intimacy with your spouse
• Not to mention that you have to worry about the things we talked about last week – pregnancies and STDs

God’s design and benefits are clear. We must strive to abstain from sex until we are married.

When we do this, we honor ourselves, our significant other and God. Remember what I said last week, sex doesn’t = love. Sex is an act of intimacy with our spouse, not an act of lust.

You can show love in so many ways. My couples small group that Pedro and I are involved in are reading a book called “the 5 Love Languages”. In it are 5 ways that people receive and give love. They are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Sex is apart of the Physical Touch category. However, so is a hug, holding hands, or a kiss –just to name a few. You can express physical touch without having sex. In fact, the author makes it clear that the physical touch of sex is for marriage only.

But look at the other ways you can express love to someone.

Instead of having premarital sex, why not show love by spending quality time together – go do something fun in which it is just the 2 of you hanging out. Go buy your “significant other” a nice gift or do something really nice for them unexpected.

These are all ways you can express love to the person you are dating. You don’t need to have sex with them to show them love.

So, based on God’s design for sex, what can you take away from this message? Where is the application?

In the business world, there is a phrase, “Think outside the box”. Thinking outside the box is a cliché used to refer to looking at a problem from a new perspective without preconceptions.

That is what I want you all to do. I want you to think outside the box in regards to premarital sex. Obviously, God’s design for sex is in the context of marriage. However, everyone else is telling you to have as much sex as you want. Everything you watch or listen to is telling you that sex is a natural part of a loving relationship. Since we know that not to be true, we have to think outside the box.

This week, I want you to think of ways that you can express love to your significant other without having sex with them. Make a list – whether you are dating someone now or not, you can still do this activity. Remember, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service are all ways you can express love to someone.

Let’s think outside the box for this. You love life will benefit from it.

Pray